Olive at 4 months old

Growth and appearance: You look so much like Harper it's amazing, looking at you brings back memories of him as a baby, it's actually crazy how similar you look at times. You're eyes are getting really blue and super round and you have cute cubby cheeks.
Feeding: one meal every couple of days BF on demand.
Sleeping: slept through two more times.  Most nights feeding every 3 hours.  
Development: This month slept through the night again twice before having your shots and spending the next week being really sad (waking up all night and not happy to be put down during the day). After a week you were back to your happy self. You started solids, but you're really hard to feed. You don't seem to watch the spoon or open your mouth. You started laughing often, and have a super adorable chuckle. You enjoy baths and love tickles. You roll and are grasping toys.

Olive at 3 month old

Growth, appearance and life: you slept through the night for the first time, it was just a one off but still amazing. I just can't get over you, if all babies were this easy I'd have ten. You babble more and more and start to laugh when I tickle you. At the end of the month you started rolling back to front. You have perfect rolls poly legs and arms. You look more and more like Harper each week as your eyes grow bigger.
Feeding: breastfeeding about 3 hourly around the clock on demand.
Sleeping: You continue to sleep in the pram during the day and with us at night, sometimes in our bed sometimes in the bassinet.
Development2.5 months old you start rolling from tummy to back. To begin with I think it's a fluke but you prove me wrong doing it again and again each day. You have a check up with the Paediatrician who assures us you won't stop breathing again. You roll over for him and he seems really impressed you're rolling so young, by the end of the month you start rolling back to front. You try to mimic "hello" and do a good job.


Olive at two months old

Growth, appearance and life: life is busier than I imagined, it's kinder holidays and we're all at home. Matt's gone back to work so it's just the four of us — pushing through the days finding our new fit. I do the groceries for the first time since you were born without another adult to help, you ride in the carrier Charlie goes in the trolley and Harper walks. Harper doesn't listen to a word I say, Charlie screams because she doesn't want to be in the trolley and I want to give up and leave. But I don't and together somehow we get the job done. By the time we get home your hungry and tired. I sit with you on the floor and feed you slumped against the wall, looking at the piles of groceries I still have to unpack. Things that were once simple are hard now, and as I sit on the floor I can't believe how much my life has changed in five years.

Feeding: you feed every two to three hours day and night. Sometimes you seem to have reflux I can hear the milk moving up and down, these are often the times your breathing pauses though it's becoming less often and I'm feeling more confident each week.

Sleeping: day sleeps are in the lounge room in the pram, I keep the radio on and you sleep through H and C running around the house. Night sleeps are in bed with us.

Development: You coo and smile. You are really relaxed and happy you don't often cry even when your tired, etc.


Olive at one month old


Growth, appearance and life: You look like Harper, your bottom lip disappears into your mouth the way his did, your eyes are round and your heads coved in short fluffy hair. You have more hair than your sister did, its brown and soft and smells like baby. Our first months has been kind of terrifying, your breathing is still irregular. There are more pauses than usual, I feel scared all the time and wake up expecting you to not be breathing. My mind goes back to the hospital more than I'd like. I'm so grateful to have you but watching you nearly die almost broke me. The four days following your birth were the hardest days of my life. I want to let go of the bitterness I feel for having to go through what we did, I want to just feel thankful to have a you — soon.

Feeding: You feed well, around every two hours. I worried when you were taken to NICU I thought I wouldn't be able to breastfeed, I worried I'd lose my milk, you were tube feed for the first day and a half, then moved on to bottles of expressed milk. It didn't make a difference to you, your pretty laid back and tend to go along with whatever.

Sleeping: you wake every couple of hours, I change you and feed you and sometimes change you again. You go back to sleep without to much fuss in bed next to me, where you belong.