I've spent a lot of time lately thinking about how much my life has changed and how I was feeling this time last year, I was 35 weeks pregnant and just finishing work, I felt a little uneasy about all the changes that were happening, I was tired! Luckily I only had one week of work left and had just crossed the last thing off my long list of thing to do, Getting the capsule fitted.
I wanted to be super organized and I was.
I had several books under my belt, Baby equipment for everything you could think of, Hours of research on the net I mean I had even googled what people pack in their nappy bags and packed mine, I didn't even have a baby yet let alone a place to go out with a baby. I was just so excited.
I wanted to know everything I could about babies and pregnancy and had learnt a lot, But no matter how organized you are nothing can prepare you for a baby, Not a book, Not a day dream, Not any prenatal class and definitely Not the Internet.
Harper was the biggest Planned shock of my life.
Looking back the first few months seem like a dream. Each problem you are dealing with is replaced by another relevant to your babies age and the old problem forgotten. When Harper was first born I thought to myself it's okay as he gets older everything will get easier, I will not worry about him so much....
I won't have to check he is breathing every night before I can fall asleep, I won't worry something will happen to him if I'm not there, I won't be that over protective parent always a step behind him in case he falls.
I've now come to accept that worry comes with the territory of being a parent, That some things get easier as they get older and some much harder. That the crazy love you have for them gets stronger when you thought it was at it's strongest. That the life you once knew seems like just yesterday and a world ago all at once
Harper will soon be one, Your babies first birthday seems to bring up a lot of emotion it's such a bittersweet occasion. To me he is still that little baby I brought home form the hospital and I wonder if most of you feel the same way.