The way it is.

We are still here. just. I could tell you the reason I haven't blogged is because I've been busy, which is partly true. But really I'm just not feeling it. To be honest I have been having a hard time lately.

Having a two year old and newborn is hard. really hard.
Lately Harper has changed...

I don't know if it's the "terrible twos" or something else (Charlie) but our days seem, long and hard. He doesn't listen to anything I say, all day everyday, he hits the dog, climbs on bookshelf, walks along the couch edge, screams, whines, won't eat, throws food the list goes on. I feel like I can't cope, I'm telling him off all the time. I sometimes feel like he is so out of control I can't take him out. I hate that I'm even blogging about this, I go to bed thinking of the day and feeling guilty. Every night I say to myself I will make more of an effort tomorrow it will be better, but it's not. Am I doing something wrong? I know he probably needs to be outside more and go out more, but I'm tired it's getting colder and its hard to pack up two kids and go places. I think he's having trouble adjusting to having a sister,  he wants to have his dummy all the time and be wrapped up "like a baby" he even asked me if he could have milk from mummy's boobs. Poor little guy, I need to make more time for him. Hopefully that will help.

and Charlie,

Charlie still won't sleep during the day unless she's in my arms or the carrier. I think she might have silent reflux, we took her to the GP, who said all babies have reflux problems and gave me a shitty print out, pfft. She cries in the evening, a lot. It takes me around 3 hours of walking/rocking just to get her to sleep almost every night. Every time I manage to put her down after she falls asleep she wakes up within 10 to 20 minutes.
I love wearing her and having her close but sometimes I want a break, my back hurts, I have a million things to do. I know this time is short and I enjoy just holding her but I just don't have the same amount of time as I use to.

I hope this post doesn't seem harsh, I love both my children very much. It's just hard, you know.


  1. Ah hon..hang in there. Ellie had really bad reflux for 12 months. If you need any pointers, shoot me an email! I'm full of reflux knowledge after dealing with Ellie! Things will get better...I'm sure Harper is going through a little bit of adjusting and terrible twos at the same time...but you'll get through this! hugs momma!
    ♥ Kyna

  2. This post doesnt sound harsh at all. In fact, it sounds like what ALL mothers are going through with having a second child. Its completely normal and dont feel like you are doing something wrong.
    Its very hard so i hear but it WILL pass (So i hear). I guess i will find out soon enough lol.

    Keep your head up and dont hesitate to ask for help or advice! You are doing great!

  3. It gets better. It really does. And when it does get better, you’ll enjoy it that much more for what you went through now. I always called that time in my life “mommy boot camp” lol.. I had my second baby (on top of getting full-custody of my step-daughter, which actually made the baby our third child) right around the same time as a few of my friends and it felt like none of them were having the rough time that I was. Rest assured you are in good company, though. It IS a rough time. But for me, when the storm passed, the good times more than made up for it and it felt like I could handle ANYTHING after that, lol.

    From a mom whose been through it before, the best piece of advice I could give you (if you want to hear it :-P ) is to stick to your guns and your gut with Harper. It’s true what they say about kids craving structure, it helps them to feel safe and secure. Don’t hold his tantrums against him -- deal with them the way you normally would and then wipe the slate clean. It’s going to feel kind of backwards because he will need a lot of extra coddling for a while, but try to hold him to the same expectations of behavior he’s always known because it will help him to know that nothing has changed. Then, whenever you have even the tiniest minute, (quick- before he does something else you need to correct! lol) baby the crap out of him!

    If you need someone to talk to shoot me an e-mail (it’s on my blog)… I’ve been there and lived to tell about it, lol. You will too! You are an AWESOME mom. (And holy moley, your kids are freaking adorable!)

  4. aww hun keep your chin up and take a nice deep breath. I'm sure it will get easier. it doesnt sound harsh we created our blogs for this kind of reason to vent. I'm sure its hard having two children especially a two year old. to me it sounds like harper is having the terrible twos as philip is the same and hes only 21 months. You do what you can to keep them both happy. your a mum not superwoman. cant you ask the husband to have charlie for a bit so you can spend time with harper when he gets in from work? that way it gives your back a rest and harper might be a bit calmer.
    good luck

  5. I really feel for you. I have four children so yep know how you feel! One suggestion...have you thought about taking Charlie to the chiropractor? Do you have a swing that may give your arms a rest for a bit. Harper will outgrow this stage and don't be too hard on yourself!! Your a great mother and your babies love you. It may sound impossible but finding even just 5minutes to refresh yourself weather its a coffee or just sitting will help.


  6. i can totally relate to this post. i had my second son when my first was 3.5 years old. he had a drastic personality change when the new baby was about six weeks old. it was really hard for me, because my oldest became so headstrong and stubborn. it will get better, with time. but i know, when you're going through it it's hard to see an end.

    and back pain, oh you have my sympathies.

  7. I heard that breastfeeding your toddler helps with tantrums and sibling bonding. It releases endorphins that calm both mom and baby. Also it isn't weird at al and more common to breastfeed up to age 4 then yyou could imagine. Just a suggestion. :)

  8. wow, reading this is exactly me a few months ago. the first few months with two little babies are so tough!!! im so glad i just found your blog. feel free to visit me at mybabywishlist.tumblr.com